How to Flirt: Shakespeare Edition

malvoliowithin:

• Crossdress and become their servant
• SHITTY LOVE POEMS ALL OVER THE FUCKING WOODS. SHITTY LOVE POEMS EVERYWHERE
• Crash their dad’s party and idk kiss them a little and then break into their backyard like a weirdo
• Attempt to learn French. Admit you don’t know French. 
• Become king. Threaten to steal their land
• Get your goblin friend to make them fall in love with a donkey and then break the curse you’re welcome
• Chess
• Pretend to die for fifteen years and then turn into a statue and reincarnate
• Kill their spouse, father, father in law, and then show up at a funeral and blame them for being too hot
• Imprison their brother for a petty crime and threaten to kill him
• Tell stories about your brave deeds. Also, handkerchiefs.
• Play “find the box with my portrait in it”
• Yellow cross gartered stockings
• Have their uncle flirt with them for you heck yeah
• Start shit with the Pope so you can get a divorce
• Save the king from illness with your Mad Doctoring Skills and then get him to force them to marry you
• Act like Russians
• Pretend to be jewelry and sneak into their bedroom like a creep
• Kill Claudio