words-writ-in-starlight:

words-writ-in-starlight:

Listen, I’m watching the animated Batman series for the first time and I just gotta make a real quick observation.

Millennials are all fucking reckless nihilists, so there’s definitely that one time in Gotham where Harley and Ivy hold up a bank and some twenty-something pops their head up from the floor like “Hey, Miss Ivy–no, don’t shoot me, I just have a question–I’ve been trying to grow roses and they’re just not doing well, I’ve tried everything”.  Batman shows up ten minutes later to Ivy sitting on the floor and having a serious conversation with some random kid about soil nitrogen content and what gypsum content the Gotham area tends to have.  Harley’s kicked back on the bank counter playing tiddlywinks with a roll of pennies while the hostages shoot nervous glances at each other and try to figure out if they’re gonna be shot for getting up off the floor.  The twenty-something is still lying on their back and Ivy’s sitting next to him.

“Hey, Bats,” Harley says happily, and waves to him.

“Hello, Harley.  Ivy, I don’t mean to interrupt, but you are doing something illegal here.“

“We didn’t even take any money, now be quiet, I’m explaining how to acidify soil.”

#I WONDER IF #SCARECROW #GETS STOPPED DURING A HEIST
#AND ASKED HOW TO DEAL WITH ANXIETY
#PROBABLY BY SOMEBODY WITH A CLINICAL ANXIETY DISORDER WHO HAS MANAGED TO WORK THROUGH THE FEAR TOXIN
#TO ASK IF SCARECROW KNOWS ANY OTHER GOOD TACTICS AND METHODS SINCE HE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT AS AFFECTED BY HIS OWN TOXIN
#OR IF MR FREEZE GETS CONTACTED BY THE LOCAL ICE HOCKEY TEAM OCCASIONALLY TO CONSULT ON ICE CONDITIONS
#I BET CATWOMAN 100% GETS ASKED ABOUT CAT HEALTH
#IN A MORE MODERN ERA SHE PROBABLY RUNS A REDDIT GROUP ABOUT HOW TO BRING UP AND TAKE CARE OF CATS IN THE BEST MOST HEALTHY WAY POSSIBLE
#LIKE SHE’S BREAKING INTO SOMEWHERE AND A LITTLE GIRL FINDS HER
#AND INSTEAD OF SCREAMING THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS CATWOMAN IF SHE KNOWS IF IT’S OKAY TO TRAIN HER NEW KITTEN TO WALK ON A LEASH
#BECAUSE THERE’S LEASH LAWS
#AND MAYBE IT’S AGAINST THE DIGNITY OF CLEO (THAT’S THE LITTLE GIRL’S KITTEN)
#BUT ALSO THE LITTLE GIRL FEELS STRONGLY THAT CLEO MIGHT LIKE THE ENRICHMENT OPPORTUNITIES AT THE PARK
#AND ALSO THE LITTLE GIRL ISN’T ALLOWED TO LET THE KITTEN GO AROUND THE HOUSE BY ITSELF
#WHICH MEANS IT GETS STUCK IN THE LITTLE GIRL’S BEDROOM
#AND SURE THE BEDROOM IS THE SIZE OF A THREE BEDROOM APARTMENT
#BUT STILL…
#CATWOMAN HAS THOUGHTS ABOUT CATS ON LEASHES

@tienriu you’re hired