joandfriedrich:

meggiry:

spudsexuall:

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin”
-After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human”
-After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket”
-Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call
-One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake. 
-After spooning me: “You have a nice butt”
-”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying)
-”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying)
-Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue
-One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue
-One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence
-And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

@ladywriter94 Friedrich

It was a surprise to Jo to hear Friedrich talk in his sleep. It didn’t happen every night, but once in a while he would just say some things that either made Jo stare at him with bewilderment or made her cover her mouth with her hands to prevent from bursting out laughing. 

• “No, no, you’re an essiggurke.”
• “Fear my danish you sea lion!” 
• Friedrich pulling Jo into his arm, “Warm Friedrich, Happy Friedrich”
• “Gib mir meine Brille, Santa!” 
• When Friedrich would spoon Jo, nuzzling into her neck, he once said, “I could die happy strangled by your hair.”
• He sat up in bed, with his hair all over the place, looking right at Jo. He then whispered, “I’m sexy and you know it.” He then whips his hair before falling right back into the pillow.
• His hand would move to her face, trying to find her mouth before saying, “Shhh, you’re scaring mein kleines Pferd. His name’s Tim.”

The next day Jo would ask him if he remembered what happened the night before and he always says no. Jo wondered whether or not she should record him and show him.