itsallavengers:

itsallavengers:

itsallavengers:

itsallavengers:

itsallavengers:

I wonder if Thor’s Allspeak extends to animals

Bee: *is present*

Thor, turning to Tony: He says this stupid damn city needs more flowers and pollen-bearing plants because you’re making him have to work a 16-hour shift every day just to feed his wife and kids

Tony: What the fuck Thor we’ve talked about this

Dog: *Bark bark bark*

Thor, sternly: No, Captain America’s pants are not fit for consumption

Steve, with no idea that Thor can speak dog: ??^?!?!????!!!??

Fly: *hums*

Thor, leaping from his chair: Oh what the FUCK did you say about my hair?? Oh you want to fuckign go do you?? Is that what you fucking want??? Well Step the FUCK UP then you stupid ass buzzy BITCH *summons lightning*

DUM-E: *Beep boops*

Thor, patting Tony on the back: well done my friend

Tony: For what?

Thor: Your robot is telling me all about how well his dad oiled up his joints this morning and keeps saying ‘I love him’ on repeat. He has been doing this for an hour.

Tony, immediately tearing up: oh my fucking god Thor

somecutething:

BABY CUTENESS OVERLOAD!!

thegingerwitch:

my-abibliophobia:

To sum up this book in a single sentence – “What would happen is Deadpool wrote a mythology book.”

Yeah, this guy-

Wrote a book. Here are some examples of why I think this.

GREEK MYTHOLOGY 

The Greek creation myth.

The story of Hephaestus god of Blacksmithing and Aphrodite Goddess of Love.

The story of the Minotaur. 

NORSE MYTHOLOGY

Norse creation myth.

Odin orders Loki to steal Freyja’s necklace. He does. This is so in character for both of them Freyja instantly knows who to blame.  

EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY

Ra gets mad at humanity and creates Sekhmet Lion Goddess of Killing Stuff. 

How Isis retrieves her huband’s coffin from the support pillar it got stuck inside.

MAYAN MYTHOLOGY

How to try and kill the god Zipacna and fail. 

CHRISTIANITY MYTHOLOGY

How God made Eve from Adam’s rib. 

The story of how King Solomon judges proper maternal instinct. 

HINDU MYTHOLOGY

Men ask Shiva to stop Kali’s murder rampage.

And this is how he does it. 

JAPANESE MYTHOLOGY

The Goddess Izanami gives birth to the whole island of Japan. 

A story about Tanuki.

AFRICAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

SUMERIAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

The Epic of Gilgamesh: Being born

The Epic of Gilgamesh: Meeting his best friend.

NATIVE AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY

Do I really need to explain why I feel the Merc with a mouth was involved in the retelling here?

Sounds like Drunk History.

nerdygaymormon:

“They say Jesus was a friend of sinners, but he didn’t describe himself that way. His motto wasn’t “eating and drinking with prostitutes and tax collectors.” Those were the labels used by the religious community, by the disapproving onlookers. What’s amazing about Jesus is that when he hung out with sinners, he didn’t act like they were sinners. They weren’t a “project,” a “mission field.” They were his friends. People with names. Defined as beloved children of the Creator, not defined by their sins. Icons of God’s image. His brothers and sisters.”

— Micah J Murray, 

Why I Can’t Say ‘Love the Sinner/Hate the Sin’ Anymore

rishtaywaliaunty:

it takes me 3-7 business days to process my feelings

tipsy-tripsee:

osterfields:

y’all: peter was able to stop bucky’s fist in civil war bc bucky heard peter’s voice, realized he was a child, then weakened his punch bc he was so worried about hurting a child uwu

me, eating pistachios: y’all know peter can canonically lift up to 75 tons, right. y’all know bucky’s fist is easy as hell for peter to block, right. y’all know bucky didn’t know shit about peter being a child and was just shocked that someone was able to so easily block his punch, right. y’all know that, right.

naw fuck that bucky’s punches aren’t easy to block, it’s WAY funnier if peter blocked a full force punch from bucky, who only a few seconds later realizes he’s a kid as soon as peter opens his mouth

that’s the face of a man who went from “holy shit he blocked my punch?” to “holY SHiT a 12 YEARoLD BLOCKED mY PUNCH???” in 3 seconds flat.

jedihighcouncil:

scott summers: y-

deadpool: whatever i had sex with your son

scott summers, who hasnt even had any children yet: