Category: Uncategorized

snowdarkred:

snowdarkred:

so, uh

did anyone tell steve after he woke up from the ice that cigarettes cause cancer??

like 

did that make the list of things they told him about or was it relegated to the list of things they didn’t bother with, like the fucking moon landing

steve rogers after the battle of new york: well that was stressful, anyone got a smoke i can bum?

everyone who grew up with anti-smoking PSAs: uh, you know those things can give you asthma, right?

steve rogers, asthmatic who was prescribed cigarettes by a doctor in the 40s: what

lizawithazed:

hexmaniacmareen:

confexionery:

lieutenantriza:

my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”

i googled this bc i desperately wanted this to be real, and guess what…it is.

the dude’s name was su dongpo (also known as su shi). his original poem went like this:

稽首天中天，

毫光照大千，

八風吹不動，

端坐紫金蓮

(Humbly bowed my head below all skies
Minutest lights shine through my deepest bounds
Immovable by strong winds from eight sides
Upon purplish gold lotus I seated straightly by the low mound) (x)

on which his friend wrote “放屁” (fart, literally), and you know the rest.

(here’s a chinese source for the skeptics)

can you imagine having your brutal murder described in detail to future generations

this is my new favourite story from history

nerdofnerds:

axelspark:

orevet:

gentlemanbones:

jawnsolo:

baturday:

Baby bat gets the hiccups

i giggled like a schoolgirl

“I hope the ASPCA isn’t watching.”

“I really did not mean to do that.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

Audio Transcript:

Male voice off-camera: It’s important for bats to avoid dehydration. If you are a bat and you’re watching this video, make sure you drink at least 8 spoonfuls of water a day. [murmuring] That’s, uh…that’s a little bit-Ooh! 

[bat begins drinking] Oh, is that good? Yeah! Yeah…Oh yeah. Mm-mm. Now don’t look at me like that. Ahha…Now that’s really nice, very good.

Bat: [squeaks as it begins hiccuping]

Man: Now don’t drink too fast-[cut off by another squeak, two squeaks follow before he speaks again]…Got the hiccups. A Bat Has The Hiccups. [squeak] Okay. I hope the ASPCA isn’t watching. I gave a baby bat the hiccups. I really [squeak] did not mean to do that.