People should do more “meet ugly” and less “meet cute”. For example.
“I broke your nose at a mosh pit” AU
“I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital” AU
“You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” AU
“You punched me in the face while gesticulating wildly to a friend” AU
“You laughed in a restaurant but you have an ugly laugh and I thought you were choking, so I spent the last three minutes awkwardly humping you while performing the Heimlich maneuver” AU
“We met each other on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame” AU
“I get really sick on roller-coasters and you had the misfortune of sitting in front of me so, uh… sorry…” AU
“You’re the bastard who keeps parking right in front of my house so I retaliated by keying your car and you caught me” AU
“I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold a shirt and then leave it one more time I’m going to stuff it down your throat” AU
“You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend’s house and I should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we’re good” AU
“My new dealer has friended me on Facebook and I’m unsure of how to react to that” AU
“You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks” AU
“This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and you’re deathly afraid of flying” AU
they invite batman and kidnap bruce wayne so they’ll have two witnesses, bruce has to escape so they don’t think batman snubbed them
Consider: the Batfam realise that Bruce is missing the day of the wedding, so various members put on the batsuit so Batman can be present for the ceremony.
The guests end up being three different shades of batman, Bruce Wayne tied up with rope but one arm free so he can toast the couple, and an Elvis impersonator to officiate the wedding.
I want to read a story about a wizard whose only spell is “fix this”, but the specially-crafted magic takes their intent into account. "Fix this" can mean repairing the wheel on the adventurers’ cart or healing a broken arm or “fixing” a lock so that it’s in what the wizard considers the “correct” (unlocked) position. Imagine the other mages getting increasingly frustrated as the wizard stubbornly refuses to learn any other spells.
Wizard: *points at a canyon* Fix this
Other casters: That’s not really how spells –
Wizard: Oh look, one of our blankets is now a magic carpet. Guess we don’t need a bridge.
Casters: How –
Wizard: *points at logs that won’t catch fire* Fix this
Other casters: There’s been too much rain, it won’t –
Wizard: I fixed it so that it’s in the same state it was yesterday. Someone here knows how to start a fire, right?
Casters: What –
Wizard: *points at charging dragon*: Fix this
Other casters: THAT’S NOT HOW MAGIC WORKS YOU IDIOT WE’RE GOING TO DIE
Dragon: *coughs* Did you just… cure my intestinal problems? I’ve been trying to stop breathing fire for weeks, but it just kept spilling out, and every time I tried to ask for help, I burned everything down. I won’t forget this kindness.
Sandra Soapbox Cosplay 