autistic-prydonian:

setheverman:

theworldaccordingtotimmycap:

setheverman:

setheverman:

when you pull your headphones out of your pocket and out comes your keys, money, tampons and russia

ok i’ve had so many people asking me why i, a boy, would have tampons in my pocket, but not a single person asking me why i, a boy, would have THE ACTUAL NATION OF RUSSIA IN MY POCKET

Everyone knows that Putin made a travel sized Russia

Russian accent: Ah yes I make perfect country to Putin your pocket

This post is illegal in Russia

peachywise:

john mulaney looked so stunned to win the emmy because now his immortal life is recorded in history, so 100 years from now when a historian asks him why he looks so much like that emmy award-winning comedian, he’s going to have to throw his money clip in order to distract them